I recently saw a post on instagram that triggered me. I will link it below. The post is passionate in its dislike of the public school system: “It’s not education, it’s programming… They don’t teach the truth, they teach obedience.” Those of us who send our kids to public school just sit back, arms crossed & send them off to the state to be trained as idiots, right?
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Online, we also see posts such as this homeschool parent who had a tough teaching day & admits homeschooling is hard. And that’s the thing. Homeschooling takes a special type of parent, and a lot of time. Homeschooling relies mostly on women to be the teachers. They can be working moms, or stay at home moms. But I know some parents have no business or INTEREST in homeschooling, as this contrasting reel humorously shows:
It’s interesting that a father was the main character in this reel. Most men are not giving a second though about homeschooling their children. That is really not on their parenting bingo card. Their job for centuries was to work (alongside the children!!!) and provide for the family.
Education is a Privilege
Growing up in rural Mexico, my dad was prohibited by my grandfather to attend school. My father did not learn how to read until he crossed the border into the U.S. & took literacy classes out of his own free will. My mother, who suffered from social anxiety, only made it to second grade in her rural hometown. Nowadays, rural schooling in Mexico is 100 times better but I feel like it is still an option for children, not mandatory. When my son complained that public school is boring I told him about his abuelos’s experience with education. Public school is boring, but it is also a privilege to get to attend.
Education is community. You make of your local school what parents, teachers, and administrators put in. When you think of the current public school MACHINE you think it is something out of our control, just waiting to swallow our children’s brains, personalities & hearts whole. But in truth… public school is just an organized & funded way for community members to teach children. Every teacher in a classroom is capable of teaching students in her living room if she wanted to. But, she chooses to add to the gears of the machine because allocated resources hopefully mean a better education. Parents can add the oil.
Private does not always mean better. My husband grew up going to “poor private schools” in the area growing up in the 90s. Going to private school did not necessarily mean privilege for him. He saw that public schools could provide better equipment, tracks & training to students, especially in a less popular sport like track & field. Lutheran South Academy, his high school alma mater, has turned out not so poor, and well, we cannot afford it for our own children!
Charter school may seem a good option, but oftentimes charters follow the same standards and teaching styles as public schools. Parents should consider classroom size & teacher turn over when they are looking at charter schools. Charters school ratings are also made public at txschools.gov.
We send our children to public school knowing the faults, bias & risks associated with it. Most parents are a little suspicious of the system & know we will have to supplement their education. Public school, however, is a community project & should be placed through a democratic process. Here are 10 tips on staying involved with your elementary aged children & the public school system.
Tip #1: Join PTO
This is a hands-on approach to being involved with elementary school-aged children. It feels that opportunities for parents to be on campus and volunteering time & skills within the school walls fall drastically once children attend junior high (I am not sure if middle schools are still welcoming since the children are younger at 4th & 5th grade).
Being a PTO board member definitely affords you to come into the school and walk the halls after checking in at the front office. Different schools may have different rules. For general members, volunteering at PTO events means again, walking into areas of the schools blocked off during family events or parent meetings. Schools may enlist from the PTO membership pool to help with school-sponsored events like Meet the Teacher or Field Day.
Being a PTO member also lets you see where money is being allocated. When people claim a lot of money is going to public schools you can better defend this because you know it costs over $1,000 to have buses drive a grade to a field trip. Imagine what it costs to drive children to-and-from school all year?
Tip #2: Say Yes to Volunteer Opportunities
after dropping off their kiddo, for many their first time ever at public school
Check if there’s reoccurring volunteer opportunities within your elementary. At ours, the librarian offers opportunities for parents to come for a 2.5hr shift once a week to help shelve books & help students at the check-out desk. I love this volunteer job obviously as a children’s librarian, but I know many parents in other fields who love this job as well. Most campuses will probably never turn away a lunch duty volunteer so you can help PreK & Kindergarten students open juice boxes or snack bags during lunch.
Districts offer deeper mentoring opportunities for parents. The WATCH D.O.G.S. (Dad’s of Great Students) program allows fathers or males in the community to serve as role models for students. This program is often overlooked but it is known that boys require MALE role models specifically in order to thrive as individuals. This is a great opportunity for fathers, uncles, & grandfathers to get involved in public schools & help form confident men!!
AlvinISD has YET (Youth Empowerment Program). Open to all genders, it is “a school-based mentoring program in which dedicated parents and individuals from the community, businesses, and local organizations invest their time to empower Alvin ISD students to pursue the school and life goals that they have not achieved YET.” YET mentors could focus on academics, emotional, or behavioral support for students who may be labeled “at risk” or be the cheerleaders for students to become first generation college undergrads.
If being a dedicated volunteer or mentor is too much for your schedule right now, set a time aside that you can volunteer and commit to it. This could mean one hour, one day, or one week out of the year. You should feel happy with the time you are contributing to your child’s school, never guilty for not providing more.
Tip #3: Attend School Events
I probably do not need to emphasize this for Millenial parents. But if you cannot help at events, make sure you are attending them!! This means you have to know when they are happening so make sure you are subscribed to receive school communication via email and text.
Parent engagement opportunities like cheering your child as he runs laps during Boosterthon & after school family events like Literacy Night show transparency between the school and parents. They want you to come into the school and build rapport with school administration. They are not trying to raise your children, they’re teaching them & hope to have some help & fun along the way.
Tip #4: Have Lunch With Your Child
If you are home or work nearby, drop in for lunch at your child’s school once a week or once a month. Your child will be so excited to see you, especially with some fast food, or seaweed or a head of romaine lettuce: pick your poison! You will get to see the school, the children behaving during “free time”, some of the office & cafeteria staff. You can get a sense of the culture of the school by doing this consistently, plus you are spending some one-on-one time with your child.
Tip #5: Communicate with Teachers
Needless to say right? If you are the type of parent that is way too happy about your kids going off to school for 8 hours… make sure to check in on them! You see teachers in person very few times during the school year in public school: communicating digitally makes a big difference nowadays. Ensure that you are subscribed to Class Dojo or whatever classroom app your teacher uses. If you are a father, please also subscribe. This will ensure that classroom information is not something your wife adds to her mental load. Thank you!!!
Teachers are usually very good about sharing their emails. Save those to your contact list at the beginning of the year so you are not scrambling to find them during a more pressing time. I always like to have them on hand for more formal communication like requesting a parent teacher conference so there is written proof for admin. Cell phone reception can be terrible inside schools & classroom app notifications may not reach teachers in time for say, last minute transportation changes. Email becomes for reliant in these instances.
Tip #6: Teach Your Child / Help Them With Homework
This will keep you humble. Helping your child or teaching them concepts ahead of time during summer breaks will put you in the role of their teachers. It will also alert you of any learning disabilities or behavior issues your child may have.
In homeschool co-ops, parents in the group have to teach the cohort of students! Imagine that! Parents may think that teaching academic concepts is the job of solely the public school system and this is not true. As opposed to what that Instagram reel claimed about public school kids being obedient… well, try saying that to the second grader that will not sit down in class. Teachers are dealing with a group of 15-25 kids in a class. The individual attention with which you supplement your child at home makes a big difference in their learning.
Tip #7: Take Advantage of Resources
Homeschool parents cannot walk their children to the nurse, or the counselor, or the literacy or math coach for free. Make sure you are using those resources, because as we know, they’re not really free for public school parents either. But on a given day, it is free for the school nurse to check if there is indeed an ear infection instead of booking a visit to the pediatrician.
If you are teaching your child & suspect something is off, or you know your child struggles to sit in the classroom, there may be accommodations for that. The system is being sensitized to differences in learning styles, in bilingualism, in dealing with social anxiety. The more involved you are as an individual parent with an individual child’s need the more the system may have to shift to accommodate patterns in youth development in these new generations. You may not be the only one dealing with a child that refuses to “conform” to the ideal student, as the video claims.
Tip #8: Make Being Car Rider Special
Remember in the 90s when, who in the world was picked up by their parents? Being a car rider can still be special for your kids nowadays. Make the most of drop off and pick up times! Let them choose the music. Car rides are supposed to be great times for conversation too. I’m sure your kindergartener does not skip a beat telling you about the day’s happenings as soon as their little foot hits the floorboard.
You will know at pickup how their day went, judging by the look on their face. So do not kill the conversation by starting off with “Did you have a good day?” Instead, make observations & ask questions based on that first look: “Someone looks happy! What made you so happy today?!” Or: “I can see you are sad, you want to tell what made you so sad today?”
is something that made an impression on them that day, good or bad.
Tip #9: Limit Screens & Extracurricular Activities
This will allow you not only to focus on homework and reading, but allow (force??!) you to interact with each other face-to-face & give you time for some life-skills training.
Instead of driving from school straight to an extracurricular activity, give yourself 3 weekdays at least to just come home and live at home. Take an evening walk or let the kids play outside. A big complaint with public school is HOW MUCH THEY SIT! And truly, I do not think they sit as much as somebody in a sedentary office job, but there is a lot of sitting. Is it more sitting than they would otherwise do watching tv or playing video games if they were not going to school?!! Again, I’m calling out the public school parent trends here. Homeschool or hybrid parents are more proactive about finding things for their kids to do outside of screens.
It’s not about entertaining or overscheduling them. It’s about letting them be children and letting them set the table, cut the vegetables, vacuum & sweep to keep a tidy home ready for the next business day. Do not underestimate the filling-cup power of a short 10 minute one-on-one session with each of your children each day. We have been doing this with my kindergartener to reduce her separation anxiety at drop off.
Tip #10: Provide a Moral Compass
Texas is righteously trying to post the 10 commandments in public schools the federal government has defunded. Again, as public school parents we are at the mercy of whatever political party is in office. California and other states, for example have passed laws that do not require schools notify parents of changes in pronouns by their children.
There is this invented idea that the public school is trying to raise children when in fact, that’s the last role teachers want in the classroom! Most teachers are out there trying to do their professional job of teaching your child basic arithmetic, literacy, & clocking out so you can do the actual upbringing. Most teachers do not want to be the one supporting a child through gender transition.
Contemporary families are not attending churches en masse. Some do not practice or believe any set of religious followings. Pay attention, then, to what beliefs you are instilling in your children. You may call it anti-racism or you may call it kindness, but make sure you are giving anchors & practical morals that kids can sink their teeth into. Most children have an innate sense of right & wrong. However, if they get in trouble at school do not react with: “I raised you better than this” when if fact, you have not been imparting moral instruction at all.
There is plenty of spiritual literature or even sociology and psychology books that take a more scientific approach to morals, Jonathan Haidt & Jordan Peterson are good writers of these. For a more practical look at public education, listen to Katharine Birbalsingh, the headmistress of Michaela School in London for a common sense approach. We are emotional, spiritual beings. Make sure your children are aware of their divine power. The positive force they bring into this world. That they stand shoulder to shoulder with fellow humans bracing this world & then death.
If children have no foundations to stand on, the public school system, driven by the world’s never-ending and what seems ever-lasting tendency to disagree will sway them this way and that. They must know who they are, why they are here, and where they are going. That, in a nutshell, is the biggest privilege we have to teach our children as parents.
Conclusion
The public school system has been losing students and parents in Texas, Florida, California, & nationwide. In Texas we await whether Greg Abbott passes the bill into law to replace the STAAR test with 3 shorter Fall, Winter, and Spring tests. Texas public schools have made the STAAR test too much of a focus to be able to get good ratings from the state. I feel like children were getting taught how to take a test, not knowledge. Let’s hope the new changes are for the better, otherwise… I guess we will be meeting in our living rooms to teach our children!
Biblioterika 
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